Short Series: Angel Beats, Ep. 13 - "Graduation"

And just like that, Angel Beats has come to an end at last. To think I only began this project a little less than a week ago – it feels like it’s been an eternity. Let’s see if Episode 13 (“Graduation”) ends on a high note.

Our courage will pull us through.

Three days have passed since the events of Episode 12, and it opens with a shot of Yuri lying on a bed in the school’s infirmary. It’s worth nothing that Kanade said, in Episode 1, that there aren’t any in hospitals in Purgatory High School, but there have been multiple hospital and infirmary scenes throughout Angel Beats. Oops. Anyway, three days have passed, and Yuri, Otonashi, Kanade, Naoi, and Hinata are the only people left in the school. When asked about what happened to the others, Otonashi casually mentions that they’d already passed on, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. An entire cast of characters just disappear offscreen. They managed to find inner peace and fulfill their dreams completely offscreen. It was the Great Offscreen Vanishing. So long, characters with zero development, zero screen-time, and zero personality.

What fucking terrible writing. Even the voice actors sound mysteriously off in this episode, as if they're aware of how trivial and meaningless the goings-on are.

The Battlefront remnants have set up the gymnasium to make it look like a graduation ceremony, and there’s a lot of pointless nonsense and stupid comedy that goes on, and that actually takes up a large majority of the episode. Also, for some reason, Kanade is upbeat and showing emotion all of a sudden, because apparently three days is enough time to completely change your personality – GOD THIS WRITING SUCKS. If this sounds like an anticlimactic, out-of-the-blue nowhere ending, then you’re on the money, because not a damn thing has happened so far.

"The whole Ice Queen thing was an act" Would have been nice if you had IMPLIED THAT FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, OR IF YOU HAD KANADE SHOW ANY SORT OF EMOTION BEYOND FEAR BEFORE THIS EPISODE

Everybody passes on like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Naoi gives a tearful goodbye to Otonashi, aww so sweet, saying that what Otonashi did brought peace to Naoi’s heart. Okay. Whatever. Yuri apologizes to Kanade and gives a warm goodbye to Otonashi and Hinata, and then bam, she’s gone. Hinata also passes on after giving high-fiving Otonashi. Wait. I thought Hinata’s innermost desire was to atone for his baseball incident many years ago, when he caused his team to fail by flubbing a catch? Guess not! I guess he managed to shrug off that painfully traumatic event - the one that caused him to begin taking DRUGS – and say, “Eh, it was no big deal! Easy as brain surgery!”

Then comes the part where “Graduation” becomes awful, truly awful. The only people left are Otonashi and Kanade. Otonashi says that he wants Kanade to stay with him so that they can work together to help people pass on in the same way they helped the Battlefront. He then confesses his love for her, and Kanade sort of does the same thing in an indirect way, and then comes this:

“Kanade: My life was extended because of the beautiful, kind heart you gave me.”

What. The. Fuck.

In Otonashi’s past, he signed an organ donor card before he died. His heart apparently went to Kanade, who had a heart condition when she was alive.

What. The. Fuck. HOW?! If she survived some kind of illness using Otonashi’s donated heart, then HOW DID SHE END UP IN THE AFTERLIFE BEFORE HIM? They never explain how this works, or why this happened! This entire heart transplant thing served only to make Otonashi look like even more of a Jesus figure. Fucking obviously the girl he wound up falling in love with was the one he gave his heart to so many years ago. They could have removed this entirely and there would have been no problem, but instead this opens up a million brand-new plotholes!

Hold me close, Jesus.

JUST END ALREADY!

Kanade passes on, and only Otonashi is left behind, and it is not touching or heartbreaking or even slightly moving in the least.

The. End. What a horrendous ending, filled to the brim with all kinds of plot contrivances, retcons, and gaping narrative holes and gaffes - it makes the bullshit in material like Episode 12 and Episode 6 seem like a distant, unimportant memory. It didn't end on a high note; I had expected that. What I had not expected was for it to end on such a wildly awful note. It's an insult to the audience's intelligence and clarity, expecting us to believe that an entire cast of characters have no qualms about dying, or that the whole "heart transplant" story involving Kanade is anything less than pure, unadulterated bullshit that shouldn't have made it past the drawing board. After a long march of mediocrity, for it to end on such an abysmal, world-defying note is disheartening, but unsurprising.

Short Series: Angel Beats, Ep. 12: "Knockin' on Heaven's Door"

So whereas Episode 11 was shallow, plothole-ridden, and boring, it was foreshadowed that Angel Beats’ twelfth episode (“Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door”) would have something different.

And a new day will dawn, for those who stand long.

And yeah, that’s all I have. These opening paragraphs I have are getting shorter and shorter because Angel Beats is sending me further and further into virtual numbness. I think it broke me in some way. When I call Angel Beats a “short series”, I mean that literally, not figuratively. Figuratively, this has been a long, nightmarish slog, where I’ve had to suffer through some of the worst writing ever put to animation. And I want to point out something that I believe is crucially important: I do not begrudge anyone for liking Angel Beats. It’s one of the most popular Japanese-animated series out there, and I can see where its appeal lies. It just isn’t my thing, for many, many reasons, be it the horrid story or mono-dimensional characters or poorly-established universe.

Luckily for me, Episode 12 fails in an entirely new way: it’s balls-on-the-wall crazy, and it’s one of the series’ most entertaining twenty minutes for all the wrong reasons, and “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” left me simultaneously empty and giddy. Don’t get me wrong – it’s fucking bad. The story – if I can deign to call it that – feels like pieces of Neon Genesis Evangelion and Earthbound put together in a blender, pissed on, and then cursed at for several hours, then left in the sun to rot. It’s total trash that tries to come off as “deep” and “complex” whereas, in actuality, it has the narrative depth of a shallow pond.

So let’s explain the absolutely crazy narrative that goes on in Episode 12. Naoi and Hinata have a fight in the opening scene because ha-ha, pointless and repetitive character drama is so rich. Otonashi decides to pay a visit to Girls Dead Monster, who have all decided to pass on. They say a goodbye to Otonashi and vanish. So long, bland characters with zero development, zero personality, and zero screen-time. You’ll be fucking missed. Oh, boy! It’s gonna be a good one tonight, huh?!

The entirety of the Battlefront join together, all of them spouting lines that I’m sure would have been badass and grand if I wasn’t busy shooting heroin through my veins. Using the power of teamwork, they start to beat up the shadows. Hey! That was easy! So much for the Shadows being threats! So long as you have the super power of teamwork, you can conquer anything! SONIC HEROES! There’s no scale or difficulty or tension in the Battlefront’s fight against the Shadows, but it’s okay because it’s full of action and excitement and dudes looking badass and muttering ominous, Bondian boasts while also proclaiming the occasional philosophical musing or comedic one-liner to keep the audience hooked. How forward-thinking Episode 12 is!

"Nobody cares about us, but we're still relevant!"

Meanwhile, we cut back to Yuri’s heroic, self-sacrificing mission to go do God knows what, which has taken her venturing into the depths of the Guild because I don’t know! She also meets Char and he passes on. So long, random guy with zero development, zero personality, and zero screen-time! You’ll be missed! Yuri then takes a moment to reflect on her actions, but then she’s absorbed by shadows! Oh no! What will happen to poor old Yuri?

It turns out that she became assimilated by shadows and woke up as an NPC! She’s soulless, but not entirely soulless, because she apparently has enough self-awareness and passion to stand up in the middle of the class and blurt out a speech about her life! Hm, where have I seen this before? A main protagonist becomes assimilated into a decisively grounded, happy world where everyone is living out their lives as average high school, where everyone is basically one? Oh, yeah! Neon Genesis Evangelion. What a clever (ripoff) reference! Clearly, I’ve underestimated Angel Beats’ pseudo-intellectual pretensions; this series isn’t above outright stealing shit from other shows!

Yuri wakes up and finds out that she hasn’t become an NPC, that the shadows somehow existed her body because of the power of her heart! She has a heartwarming reunion with Otonashi, Hinata, Kanade, and Naoi (HINT: THEY’RE THE ONLY IMPORTANT CHARACTERS LEFT, IN CASE YOU DIDN’T PICK UP ON IT YET), and then sets off to do her previous heroic, self-sacrificing mission, aided by the backup of her greatest friends, confidants, and allies, because the power of teamwork makes everything better! They have an absolutely electrifying fight scene against the Shadows, and Yuri discovers a sign called “Second Computer Room”, and she’s confronted by an NPC called the AI, who apparently has been running a lot of the AngelPlayer interfaces, which have the power to warp reality itself—

AUGH, FUCK THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.

If everything else about the episode hasn’t sent you spiraling into pure misery, “reality-altering computer software” ought to do the trick. It’s my most favorite of all the “bad episodes” because of how deranged it is, but nothing excuses how genuinely ghastly the script is. There’s plot holes and contrivances and strange questions everywhere. How did nobody ever find out there was a Second Computer Room in the Guild, despite there being a very definite sign and guiding markers toward it? How long was Yuri inside the alternate-reality shadow world, and how the fuck did she manage to escape with her soul using the power of her heart? It was never implied this was possible beforehand, so why is it possible now? Magic? Fuck, man, I would have preferred “Otonashi and the gang fight robot ninjas” over this. And the entirety of the scene between Yuri and the AI who has taken control of AngelPlayer is just pure dicking around. If AngelPlayer has the ability to alter reality and give people powers, why has nobody other than Kanade used it? It seems like all you need is sufficient time and coding prowess, which someone like that Hacker kid was experienced in. But, no, that would have been too interesting for something as down-to-earth as Angel Beats.

Episode 12 is straight-up horrendous. The story is trite, the characters are annoying, the action is lifeless and the dialogue is especially horrible. “That's why I'll fight. I will continue to fight!” goes Yuri. “Blargh,” goes the blood coming out of my ears, “pshhh” goes the smoke roaring out of my brain. No, it’s not even a bad episode, it’s a bad everything. It’s rushed, chintzy, unintentionally confusing, poorly-written, and so divorced from anything before it that it barely seems to be a continuation of the same world at all, more like a terrible fanfiction writer’s wettest dream. But it’s entertaining trash. I was hooked from start to finish because of how utterly bizarre and trashy the entertainment at hand was, and its failure to make sense is a disarming yet charming seasoning. Maybe there’s actually something really good inside of Angel Beats, just out of sight.

Or maybe this fucking terrible show broke me at last.

It makes just as much sense in context.

Short Series: Angel Beats, Ep. 11 - "Change the World"

A lot needs to be said about Episode 11 (“Change the World”).

The episode begins with Otonashi butting in on a confrontation between Hinata and Naoi that proves to be pointless because they both want to do the same thing – help Otonashi succeed in his plans to help everyone pass on. It’s never told how Naoi figured out Otonashi’s plan. Was he secretly watching the exchange between Hinata and Yui at the end of “Goodbye Days”? Did he ask Kanade? I dunno, and I really shouldn’t care. Why should I? The writers clearly don’t. 

"Let's fight and fool the audience into believing we still matter!"

But the point is, Naoi has agreed to help out Otonashi, but before any of that can happen, the trio is attacked by what appears to be a horrifically deformed shadow constructed out of dark matters and Matrix code (seriously, when it explodes, it’s in a raining hail of zeroes and ones). They shoot it a bunch of times, and I actually really, really liked that shadow. It’s an effective bit of animation – vague enough to be mysterious, in design and in motivation, but specific enough to be dangerous. Yes, it comes out of nowhere, but I’m willing to overlook that.

 (Thank The Lord for that shadow. I basically wouldn’t have had anything nice to say about this episode had it not been for that shadow.)

One of Yuri’s espionage agents tells her about the events that just unfolded, and Yuri decides that these shadows are serious business and need to be considered “as a separate threat from Angel” (right, because Kanade had been a real pain in your ass the last couple of episodes, what with her saving you and all – ungrateful bastards). Yuri requests Kanade’s presence in the principal’s office, and it’s confirmed that Kanade has nothing to do with the shadows – she, in fact, has no idea where they came from. Naoi, luckily, covers for Otonashi when Kanade is about to spill the beans about her and Otonashi’s relationship. There’s an all-out fight scene between the Battlefront (Kanade included) and the Shadows, which are starting to multiply, and while it sure sounded nice on paper, this particular action setpiece is very underwhelming. The fighting is difficult to follow, and there’s no sense of scale, no sense of weight or power in any of the characters’ or shadows’ movements.

I'm as bored as you are, sweetheart.

They quickly figure out, however, that becoming assimilated by one of the shadows will turn you into an NPC, which sucks away your soul and traps you in purgatory forever. That’s fucking scary, and the last episode was a happy, hope-filled narrative about helping a young girl forget about her pain and achieve her dreams. Angel Beats has no sense of emotional scale. Ignoring that, the whole “being eaten by a shadow transforms you into a soulless NPC” idea is pretty creative.

Later that night, Yuri holds a mass Battlefront meeting in the school gymnasium, and announces that she has apparently figured out Otonashi’s plan to help everyone pass on from the afterlife. It’s never told how she figured this out, why she’s considering it all of a sudden, what instigated her sudden change of heart, but it’s not like treating the characters like plot devices hasn’t been done before in this trainwreck of a show. Otonashi is called to the stage to explain himself, and by the end, everyone is a little divided on how they should feel. Yuri tells them to figure it out and decide while they still have the luxury of time. We’re more than halfway through the episode, and apparently all of the Battlefront members make up their mind by the end of it. Because, you know, going along with a plan that completely and totally challenges your ideals and survivalist instincts is easy!

Yuri formally apologizes to Kanade and says she has to attend to something, something that may involve her confronting the shadows once more. Yuri’s epic, life-threatening journey leads her to… the school’s computer lab, where she meets a kindly custodian who’s been installing some new computers. This custodian explains that someone’s been breaking in and stealing a lot of these computers – Yuri suspects that the AngelPlayer software had something to do with the Shadows, and she believes that she can reprogram them, much like how Kanade programs her own skills like Harmonics and Hand Sonic. Okay. Yuri – the girl who couldn’t handle hacking into a computer in Episode 8 – has apparently gained incredible knowledge of the AngelPlayer system, how it works, how it functions and operates, within that short time frame, even though there were no signs of her ever figuring out how AngelPlayer works. What the fuck? That makes no sense. Why not just bring “Christ” – an intellectual, confirmed computer hacker – along with you? But no, they had to have Yuri go alone because it would be a “heroic sacrifice”, regardless of how illogical or stupid it was for her to go alone. I officially fucking hate Yuri.

She finds a secret passageway in the room leading into the Guild, because, augh, I don’t care. “Change the World” is rushed, rushed, rushed. It’s a writing trainwreck, forcing the characters to do incredibly inconsistent actions for the sake of “character development”, and far too eager to open up brand new plot holes on top of the already pre-established holes; couple in the fact that too many important things happen in too little time, and the whole episode is a narratively confusing and chaotic mess, probably because being busy and action-packed was more fun than being cogent or even remotely satisfying. There are small moments throughout the episode that are genuinely beautiful: the creepy design of the shadows, and a superficially beautiful sequence showcasing all of the characters’ unspoken feelings after Otonashi explains his plan (it would be truly beautiful if the show had developed any of these characters at all). But these are only brief moments of creativity and ambition, and after the almost uninterrupted joylessness of “Change the World”, I’m not excited to see what Angel Beats’ conclusion is going to be like.

Short Series: Angel Beats, Ep. 10 - "Goodbye Days"

So because the writers (or anybody else, for that matter) decided not to care or worry about the Battlefront members beyond Otonashi and Yuri, only to suddenly realize that they had to resolve them somehow lest their story show its truly stupid colors (it may look stupid and act stupid, but don’t let that fool you; it really is stupid), we have an entire episode dedicated to a character who, beforehand, didn’t matter at all. That character happens to be Yui. Because out of all the potential choices they had – a burly Brock ripoff experienced in judo, a short-tempered fanatic, a tall, lanky blonde whose dialogue consists entirely of pop rock references, and a hacker who insists he be called “Christ”, just to name a few – they went with the monstrously obnoxious little half-pint Yui.

And therein lies the biggest problem with this episode. I rarely talk about Yui in these posts because she depresses me. She’s annoying, yes, but I don’t think I’m accurately covered just how annoying she is capable of being. Her entire purpose in the story up until this point is to be annoying, and she has no perceivable personality beyond that. So for Yui to get an entire episode centered on her is placing a demand on the character that’s completely unsustainable. She is comic relief personified, and you can’t (or rather, shouldn’t) use comic relief like a fully fleshed-out character. But Episode 10 (“Goodbye Days”) tries to do just that, beginning with a random sequence that goes absolutely nowhere.

Because we needed a reason for Kanade to hold a guitar.

Otonashi informs Kanade about his unnecessarily complicated plan to get Yui’s attention, which involves stealing her guitar and criticizing her performance in Girls Dead Monster (yeah, remember those guy?). I guess that works, but you could always just walk up to Yui and say: “Hey! Want to grab a drink somewhere? I want to talk to you and chill, if you don’t mind.” What the fuck is wrong with keeping things simple and polite? I covered this already with Yuri’s stupid plan in Episode 5, so I’m not going to discuss this further. Yui fills Otonashi in on the details of her past; she was paralyzed as a child, which rendered her unable to do some of the things she wanted to do. This is a perfectly legitimate reason for her to be so physical and active in purgatory; the first thing I’d want to do (if I were a quadriplegic) after getting my body back in control is run around a lot, anyway. It doesn’t explain why she’s so fucking annoying, but live and let die, I guess.

So in order to help Yui achieve inner peace, or whatever, Otonashi agrees to help her do a bucket list of things she wants to do, which includes (in no particular order): perform a German Suplex, hit a homerun, kick ass in basketball and soccer, and then marry someone. Barring the fact that the episode is suddenly shedding a sympathetic light on a character it once mocked, it is superficially pleasant to see a person fulfilling their innermost desires and dreams. It would be better if the person in question was likable in the slightest, though.

Everything Yui wants to do is resolved cleanly except for marriage. We learn that it’s not a matter of loving someone in this case, it’s a matter of simply being loved, because she asks Otonashi first with no prompting. Which would be a heartbreaking / heartwarming character moment if Yui had ever shown her vulnerable side before this episode, but whatever. Hinata shows up (yeah, remember that guy?) and declares his love for Yui, saying that no matter what she’d done in her previous life, or what she’d use to be like, he would have loved her anyway. This brings about feelings of passion, respect, and self-worth in Yui, and she finally finds the happiness to pass on, with Hinata’s promise that he would marry her in the next life.

While sweet and touching, it’s all surface-level, because Hinata had never once shown romantic attraction towards Yui until now – in fact, he’d treated her like she was some sniveling git, a brat that liked to wail on people a lot whenever it struck her fancy. There was never a single moment throughout all of Hinata and Yui’s interactions that showcased he was potentially in love with her, enough that he vowed to marry her. Even if he wasn’t being truthful in his confession, and was simply claiming he’d marry her in order to help her pass on, there’s no sign that he wasn’t serious about his proclaimed love for Yui (his shaking hands, his soulful dialogue) or that his feelings were anything less than genuine. This would have been a beautiful character moment and resolution had there been any buildup to it.

There are more ill-advised episodes throughout Angel Beats; the good thing about “Goodbye Days” is that it’s sweet and meaningful, and it’s a very positive episode; there is not a single ounce of darkness throughout this episode, and had the writing been sharper, I might have called it good. But the writing really isn't sharp: Yui is given quite a workout throughout “Goodbye Days” despite the fact that the show didn’t care about her up until this point. She didn’t have to show up at all in this show, and that single choice might have been enough to save this episode. But “Goodbye Days” is predominately mediocre; it is immeasurably superior in comparison to its predecessor and coming successors. It is also the end of any decent writing.

And thus the sun sets; with the morning comes a shitty conclusion.

Short Series: Angel Beats, Ep. 9 - "In Your Memory"

I’ve always cited Angel Beats’ horrid grasp on tone and atmosphere at one of its worst elements, flying from overly dark to childishly comical in the blink of an eye, but Episode 9 (“In Your Memory”) has none of that, because it’s dark and depressing throughout. That’s the first thing that’s unique about Episode 9. The second thing that’s unique is that Episode 9 marks the exact point where Angel Beats became an insipid clusterfuck. Suffice it to say, things aren’t going to get much better from here.

Kanade has been hospitalized (again) after the events of “Dancer in the Dark”, and Yuri decides to plan ahead, trying to address and provide for all unforeseen eventualities, which completely flies in the face of her actions in Episode 8, where she was an impulsive mess. Yuri is only competent when the plot demands her to be, and it’s because of this that’s she’s one of the worst characters in the series. Otonashi passes out at the foot of Kanade’s bed, and as he dreams, the final remnants of his memories come flying back into his head with crystal clarity.

It’s revealed that the train Otonashi boarded en route to his entrance exams suffered a horrible accident, and now everyone who had the misfortune of being a passenger is trapped inside a rubble-filled, dark tunnel. Otonashi helps out an injured guy called Igarashi (I swear I didn’t make them rhyme), and they tend to the medical and physical needs of the survivors, thanks to Otonashi / Jesus’ wonderful medical skills –

Wait a minute. How did Otonashi learn first aid? Oh, right. They never mention how. Seriously, what the fuck. It has never, ever been stated, implied, or hinted that Otonashi may have any medical training, or that he has the mindset of a paramedic or doctor. There have been MULTIPLE hospital scenes throughout Angel Beats, and somehow they never expounded the opportunity to use those scenes as foreshadowing that Otonashi was a doctor (even a few passing comments like noting the anesthetic content in a syringe, or saying something medically inclined would have been sufficient foreshadowing) or even a paramedic. Did he read a first aid book? Clearly, he didn’t learn his medical skills from college, because he was on his way to the entrance exams, not to med school. Oops. Looks like a plot hole to me.

"It's okay. I played a doctor on TV."

Otonashi manages to last in that tunnel seven days; he’d been suffering minor internal bleeding at some point towards the end, and decides that his last act on Earth would be to sign a donor card, which convinces Igarashi and the other survivors to sign as well. Because, again, Otonashi is Jesus. The problem with this dream sequence is one that will pop up later, and it is a big one. But yeah, this entire sequence served no purpose other than to show two things: 1.) How he died, and 2.) How much of a swell guy Otonashi is. Otonashi has, so far, had no perceivable character flaws, only virtues. He’s perfect, which makes him bland, and if I can’t resonate with him, then I can’t care about anything that happens to him.

Now cracks a boring heart.

So after that dreary slog, Otonashi wakes up to find Kanade staring at him, and Otonashi is very relieved to see that she’s okay and not a Kanade clone. They have a scene where Otonashi ponders exactly why he’s staying in the purgatory, and then he comes up with a grand idea: why not help everyone achieve inner peace and pass on? 

"Everyone should die with us!"

This is important enough that it will go on to completely change the plot’s trajectory, and the reason this sucks is because, before this hospital scene, there were no clues that Otonashi had ever considered passing on was a good idea, but I guess one dream sequence later and he decides it’s okay, and that everyone should join him on his field trip into uncertain oblivion! So noble. The Battlefront has always fought threats in purgatory because they want to stay in the world they’re currently in, bleak and empty though it may be, because they’re afraid of the great unknown. “To be, or not to be, that is the question.” It would take a fuck ton of character development to make them make a decision between technical life or technical death. And we only have about four episodes left to do that.

"Let's just all gather around and thank God this is almost over."

Too many important plot developments happen way too fast, and the whole episode feels rushed as a result. “In Your Memory” is a joyless, character-betraying wallow into the depths of Angel Beats’ worst moments that works on essentially no level whatsoever. Otonashi’s backstory didn’t work for me because of how irrelevant it was (it could have just ended with what was presented to us in Episode 7, and that would have been satisfactory), the aforementioned plot holes, and the foreknowledge of how Otonashi signing the donor card will lead to one of the series’ absolute worst moments. But that’s another piece of shit for another time.

Short Series: Angel Beats, Ep. 8 - "Dancer In The Dark"

It’s high time I start talking about something that wasn’t all that important earlier but is at the forefront of Episode 8 (“Dancer in the Dark”) and its dramatic conflict: exactly what kind of powers Kanade, or Angel, possesses. She has numerous powers, being the Student Body President, and the most prominent abilities we’ve seen in the previous episodes are Hand Sonic (where she summons magical blades atop her wrist, a la Assassin’s Creed), Distortion (a crystal, energy-filled sphere that deflects bullets and incoming objects), and Overdrive (a passive ability that gives her superhuman strength, which made me wonder about one of the many plot contrivances in Episode 6: if Overdrive is permanently passive, then why didn’t she just punch her way out of the prison?), but that’s about it. This episode will begin talking about a few more of her powers, titled Harmonics, Absorb, and Howling, powers that have not been of any apparent importance (or barely even mentioned) until now, but that’s genius writing for you, I guess. God forbid there be creativity.

Episode 8, to its credit, has a fantastic opening, and I had not expected even that. The Red-Eyed Kanade from the last episode has a duel with Yuri, who quickly loses until the Battlefront joins in with suppressing fire. Red Kanade wrecks their shit and goes in to intercept the actual Kanade; they proceed to stab each other, and one fade-to-black later, Kanade is hospitalized. The whole sequence doesn’t last much longer than a minute, but the animation, direction, and pacing are stately and elegant, and it’s the only fight sequence in the series thus far I found myself enjoying, because of the tension and mysterious circumstances.

The Battlefront, taking refuge in the hospital, wonder what the hell is going on, and Yuri references Episode 3, when they hacked into Kanade’s computer and realized that she’d been modeling her powers on a software program called AngelPlayer - some of the abilities installed there were never even utilized by her. One of the program, “Harmonics”, was activated sometime during Episode 7; to be more specific, Harmonics was apparently activated when she made mincemeat out of the humongous fish in Episode 7. Okay, that would have been nice to know at the time it happened (if she’d just muttered something like “Harmonics activate” or whatever, then there would be payoff), but whatever, this isn’t the last time the series pulls something like this out of its ass. Harmonics causes Kanade clones to generate; even worse, that clone can clone itself, and so on and so forth.

This was, admittedly, pretty funny.

So Yuri orders all of the Battlefront members to go to class and pretend like they’re taking class seriously (how is that different from what they usually do?) while she goes off to storm Kanade’s room alone, to analyze the vital AngelPlayer data found on her personal computer. There’s a thick, lengthy AngelPlayer manual, but it’s written in English. Irritable, Yuri instead decides to fuck with the system without any foreknowledge of how it works, and manages to make things worse by activating a new command: Howling. Yuri acted impulsively here purely for the sake of progressing the plot and dramatic stakes. What the hell? Yuri took careful consideration not to mess with any of the data in Episode 3, so why did she suddenly decide to throw caution to the wind and dick with the AngelPlayer system? Oh, that’s right! Because the narrative needed her to. Even though she was never a sophisticated or complex character, Yuri has degraded into a plot-driving device with no perceivable personality. Who the hell is Yuri? I don’t know her, and the writers surely don’t.

I know people act impulsively in real life, but they at least have good / justifiable / in-character reasons for doing so.

For that matter, who the hell is the rest of the Battlefront? It’s high time I mentioned something very important: we have six episodes left, including this one, and almost none of the Battlefront personnel have received any substantial character development or screentime. I don’t know who most of these people are – I know next to nothing about them! Who are they? What were they like in their past lives? Why do they go along with Yuri’s outrageous plans, and for what reasons? What are their motivations, their innermost desires, dreams, or beliefs? If the writers knew they didn’t have the time to develop each character, why did they have so many? And, for the record, why have so many characters if you only choose to focus on, like, three of them? By this point, the only way they could be interesting or developed is if the writers focused the last five episodes entirely around them; but, on the other hand, that would cheapen the character arcs of Otonashi, Kanade, and Yuri. It’s a problem no matter how you look at it.

Angel Beats, if you included the only important characters.

But, hey, I’m just a schoolboy, and the writers over at Key are professionals. Maybe I missed something. Maybe the burly Brock ripoff is secretly a robot ninja; maybe the purple-haired guy with a grudge against Otonashi is a time traveler who hopped back in time to stop Otonashi from reforming the Nazis; maybe the lanky guy with glasses is an ex-cop with a tragic backstory and a strained relationship with his well-meaning wife and child; maybe the ninja girl is that well-meaning wife! Fuck, maybe this entire story takes place entire in Otonashi’s mind, and everybody around him is the personification of his innermost fears and Freudian anxiety. Hell, maybe this entire story is Otonashi’s wish-fulfillment fanfiction, co-starring his friends. In fact, yes, that’s my theory now.

Anyway, Kanade disappears from the hospital because Yuri was an idiot, and the Battlefront learns that Kanade has apparently locked herself inside the Guild, which means they have to descend into the Guild’s depths and retread the events of Episode 2. And, as luck would have it, they do just that, with each member dying off one by one until it’s just Otonashi and Yuri. It’s a clever nod to that one great episode! Oh no, wait, it’s bad writing. My mistake.

"We have no idea what we're doing, either."

Otonashi tries to find the original Kanade while Yuri fights a clone, and then Angel uses Howling, which is basically a loud, annoying screeching noise, and Yuri wore earplugs that rendered her immune to Howling (whatever, let’s just be done with this) and Kanade uses a powerful version of Harmonics that re-absorbs all of the clones into the original Kanade, which effectively erases them and causes the original Kanade tremendous pain. It’s strange and effective enough to be the most memorable part of the episode.

I dislike this episode… less than it deserves. It has a strong, urgent opening and strong ending, but almost all of the material in between is either pure nonsense, illogical, or just plain uninteresting. “Dancer in the Dark” does a great many things that never tie together as a whole, in particular the absolutely atrocious middle section that’s just a ripoff of “Guild”, all problems included. “Dancer in the Dark” put me in a foul mood for some reason, but at least it isn’t as shrill and joy-starved as “Guild” or “Family Affair”. But the bullshit isn’t quite over yet.

Short Series: Angel Beats, Ep. 7 - "Alive"

I was almost tempted to stop this episode-by-episode “journey” (more like a nightmarish wallow) altogether after the trainwreck that was Angel Beats’ sixth episode, but I managed to calm down a little after realizing Episode 7 (“Alive”) wasn’t anywhere near as vile, all things considered. I’m giving “Alive” mercy points because it isn’t out-and-out bad; faint praise, I know, but a little praise goes a long way in a shitty show like Angel Beats. “Alive” is a largely harmless extension of the plot, save for a few crucial developments that occur within its running time: namely, the partial revelation of Otonashi’s past (yeah, remember that guy?) and Kanade becoming all friendly with the Battlefront.

So Naoi has joined the Battlefront, and—

Oh, fuck.

Actually, I was kidding. “Alive” may not be outright terrible, but in terms of logic, meaning, and common sense, it fails grandly. So this Naoi kid, a sadistic, rigid, indoctrinated, sociopathic enforcer with a short temper and a nasty right hook has apparently joined the Battlefront without any kind of punishment or compensation for his brutal actions. The kid who ordered the slow, painful massacre of all Battlefront personnel. The justification for this is probably because the Battlefront took pity on Naoi because of his “tragic” backstory, and blah blah blah, boo-fucking-hoo, nobody took pity on people like Stalin and Hitler when they killed a lot of people, so why should the Battlefront (or, for the record, the audience) take pity on Naoi, who was basically SATAN? But, that’s okay! Naoi has apparently mellowed out and become a sympathetic, well-rounded, ethical human being in the eyes of the Battlefront members and they let him join his ranks. But, whatever – that’s their choice, I guess. It’s an awfully fucking confusing choice; I think I’d harbor a little more animosity towards the guy that professionally ordered the brutal slaughter of my fellow comrades.

As a villain, he was passable. As a leading protagonist, he's insufferable and horribly fitted for the job.

But, whatever, let’s agree to skip over that and say that Naoi had a complete change of heart (even though not one ounce of his character development ever matched up with the initial ideas presented about who he is, how he operates, or how the audience should feel about him) and now he’s a good guy! I forgot to mention that Naoi’s shtick is that he has the power of hypnosis (don’t ask, I don’t know why, either), and this finally becomes practically useful in “Alive”. Naoi uses his hypnosis power on Otonashi in an attempt to bring back Otonashi’s memories. It’s actually a pretty creative writing device, even if it is a complete deus ex machina, but I’m willing to overlook that, because finally we get to learn something about Otonashi, who, by this point, has been as far removed from the audience as possible. Naoi does his thing and a handful of suppressed memories are recovered, but not all of them.

Otonashi had a younger, ill sister, whom he saw in the hospital on a daily basis, bringing her stuff like comic books and various sundry things. He manages to etch out a living as a construction worker, but he lacked ambition, sociability, or a general purpose in life; his only given purpose seems to be making his sister happy, because we needed a reminder that Otonashi was virtually Jesus. 

On Christmas Eve, Otonashi spirits his sister out of the hospital to take her on a walk down Main Street, without permission. He walks through the winter wonderland, carrying her on his back; she eventually dies on his back after telling him “Thank you” one last time. Realizing it was time to live his own life, he dedicates his life to helping other people (because, again, Otonashi = Jesus) and begins to work and study hard, hard enough that he successfully graduated from High School and was on his way to take some college entrance exams. However, the train he was on suffers an accident, and then—

The fragmented memories end there and the hypnosis session is over. After all that, Otonashi requests to be alone for a little while. The whole scene, starting from the moment we meet Otonashi’s sister and ending on the shot of Otonashi being alone in his room after recovering some of his memories (a little over ten minutes in total), is genuinely well-directed and well-used, if a bit melodramatic. The use of color and imagery has never been better throughout the series, and Otonashi’s post-hypnosis reactions and thoughts were not only legitimate, but human; I could feel his shock. Any flaws I found during this ten-minute sequence were minor enough that I could ignore them in favor of the stream of thought and logic put into it.

Otonashi decides to remain with the Battlefront. The mood is immediately ruined by Yuri’s announcement of “Operation Monster Stream”; basically, fishing. Otonashi catches wind of Kanade and invites her to come along, much to the shock of the Battlefront. Right, because they’re okay with bringing along Naoi, a sadistic fuck, but they’re concerned about Angel, who’s cute as a button and dangerous only when provoked. Riiiiiight. 

THEY'RE ALL IDIOTS

Anyway, they meet some random guy who’s really good at fishing, Otonashi teaches Kanade how to fish, and for a blissful, innocent moment I thought “this episode is actually pretty okay!”

But then this happens.

Kanade deciding to save the Battlefront from a threat? Believable; there are ways to justify that action. Cutting open an enormous, gravity and logic-defying fish? Not in a million years.

Best character in the whole series. Honest.

Anyway, they decide to cook the fish and Otonashi has the charitable idea to distribute all the fish amongst the students and faculty, because he’s Jesus. They proceed to do just so, and then the guy who beat the shit out of Otonashi in Episode 1 (his name is Noda, but I refuse to call him such) realizes Yuri hadn’t been with them during the charity work. At exactly that moment, she stumbles onto the scene, looking like she’d been considerably thrashed about. Yuri claims that Kanade wounded her… even though Kanade had been with Otonashi the entire time. Otonashi sees a figure standing a promontory, cutting the sky, and it’s apparently a girl that looks exactly like Kanade, but with red eyes.

Oh, and we learn Otonashi’s first name, Yuzuru, but it doesn’t matter because they keep calling him Otonashi anyway. So the good news: “Alive” is, for a stretch, pretty good. It’s a success more often than not, but it has a few major shortcomings (Naoi not being persecuted for his actions is a big one, the humongous, unexplained fish is a lesser, but still annoying, one) that hinder it from being genuinely good. But 60% good is better than no good at all, and "Alive" actually has the benefit of being the landmark where Angel Beats' primary story actually starts going somewhere.

For better or for worse.

Also, as a sidenote, Kanade is by far and away the best character in this series, and we'll get to why that is soon enough.